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Well, he’s not quite Lesbia, but …

A 57 year old Scotsman spent ten long years watching the man of his dreams from afar before getting up the nerve to confess his feelings in a letter, complete with a classical reference:

Aberdeen Sheriff Court heard the letter Leverett gave Mr Davidson contained references to the Roman poet Catullus and referred to Mr Davidson as the “loveliest guy” and the “cuddliest teddy bear”.

It claimed the victim had shown Leverett “affection over many years” and said there was “a beautiful poem about a young man” who wanted 300,000 kisses.

He must mean Catullus 5, which by my calculation adds up precisely to … ‘many thousands.’ And not only that, they’re to be confounded so that not even the lovers know how many there were. But perhaps Mr. Leverett is just a very talented reader of verse. We should ask for further insights into poetic mysteries.

Before we go, the relevant (ubiquitous) poem for our readers:

  1. Vivamus mea Lesbia, atque amemus,
  2. rumoresque senum severiorum
  3. omnes unius aestimemus assis!
  4. soles occidere et redire possunt:
  5. nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,
  6. nox est perpetua una dormienda.
  7. da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
  8. dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,
  9. deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
  10. dein, cum milia multa fecerimus,
  11. conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus,
  12. aut ne quis malus inuidere possit,
  13. cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.

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  1. Surely the 300,000 are in poem 48, where the number appears – and where, it must be said, Catullus seems rather more willing than Juventius…?